Keeping You Safe
by TayG92
Summary: Sometimes, accidents can cause the deepest of pains. There is no one to blame. Not you, not someone else. No one. Only when you accept that, can you move on.


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I feel like I'm stepping into very dangerous territory here... I claim to know nothing about this, having been lucky enough that I've not known anyone who has been through it. So this is completely from my head, not that I could even begin to fathom how you would feel. Okay, so I'm rambling and trying to excuse myself from the masses of messages I will surely get about the fact I know nothing about this. You are correct. However, this popped into my head from a song and I have made an attempt... please let me know how I have fared.

p.s - Each person would understandably handle this situation differently, Harry and Ginny will be reacting how I personally think they would. Each to their own :)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

* * *

.

. -** Keeping You Safe.**

.

The healer was telling him something, speaking, but Harry paid him no mind.

There were people passing them in the corridor, their shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor.

The healer had crouched in front of him, trying to gain his attention, but the glaze wouldn't lift from his eyes.

Everything sounded fuzzy, far away and he frowned a little.

Someone else was in front of him now, picking up his hands with small unsteady ones.

He managed to look down to see why they were shaking him and realised it were his own hands that were trembling.

Hermione. It was Hermione. He struggled to focus on her face and was successful for a tiny moment before her face distorted and blurred.

It was like looking at something through rippling water. He blinked and vaguely felt an unusual warmth over his cheeks.

The healer's words seemed to be on a continual loop through his head and his chest started to hurt.

"She's alright." Hermione's voice was frantic in his ear. "Calm down Harry, Ginny's alright."

She held him tightly around his shoulders and Harry noticed that Ron was sitting next to him on an identical chair, his face turned away. The healer had left.

"I'm sorry." He tried, but his voice caught. Hermione was shaking her head.

"Don't," She was sitting back now, her hands on his cheeks. "It was an accident, nothing more."

"I was at work." His voice was hollow.

"Harry, please." Hermione was crying now. A stray thought crossed his mind. Ron would surely hit him for making Hermione cry.

He didn't care. Let Ron do his worst, he thought viciously. He should never have left Ginny alone.

"If I'd been there, they'd be okay." Hermione's eyes were closed but she hadn't let go of his hands.

"It wasn't your fault." She whispered.

Harry shook his head. They all knew it, which was why Ginny hadn't asked for him. Why Hermione's eyes were shut tight. Why Ron refused to look at him. Why the guilt and grief hurt so badly. Pulled his insides so unbearably taut.

"Every time." He murmured, his breath shuddering unevenly. "I just wanted to make her happy."

"She was, she is." Hermione insisted, looking to Ron. Ron ignored them.

"How on earth can she be HAPPY?!" He roared, pushing Hermione away and sending her sprawling backwards.

Ron had stood up. Good, Harry thought, on his feet also. The dull strip lighting had started to flicker.

He shoved the hand away before it had even touched his shoulder.

"You alright?" Ron directed to Hermione who was stood further back from them. She nodded, Harry saw out the corner of his eye, but kept them fixed on Ron's blue.

"Hermione was right, it was an accident." Ron said and Harry dimly registered the bulbs exploding overhead. Hermione screamed and Harry had his left hand clamped tightly around Ron's throat, the right pulled back to swing.

Everything tilted and Ron grimaced as they hit the floor.

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME!" He yelled. His vision blurred again.

"Go on then," Ron rasped out. "Get it out your system."

He could do some serious damage here. Ron was pinned. Harry was poised ready to strike. He could really hurt him. Ron knew that too by the look in his eyes. Harry knew Ron was brave. So, so brave. He'd seen it many times. But Ron was scared. He was scared of what Harry could do. He never wanted to see whatever Ron saw in Harry's eyes in that moment.

"Come on." Ron egged, recklessness surging past the fear.

Hurt him. Make him suffer. Make him feel just one ounce of the pain he was feeling. Someone else deserved to feel it for once. Not him. Why was it always him?

Them.

It was Ginny too this time. She was hurting and he could have stopped it. This was his fault. His fault he was hurting. His fault Ginny was in a room down the corridor, alone. His fault he was working so much. His fault he wasn't there to look after her. His fault he hadn't tidied up the mess on the landing. His fault he didn't catch her when she tumbled down those stairs. It was his fault, not Ron's, why they lost their baby.

His grip slackened and his head fell forward. His face screwed up against the howl of misery he couldn't force behind his occlumency shields.

He was being pushed up, into a sitting position. Ron's arms came around his shoulders and held him almost painfully tight. In a good way.

He took little gasps of air to try and steady his breathing but they turned into sobs after a minute.

"Everything." He repeated from earlier. "Everything I t-touch gets ruined." Harry's voice was muffled but they both heard him. Ron started shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"No Harry, I'm sorry you have to feel like this, I'm sorry you lost your baby girl." Ron said, his voice wobbling all over the place.

"We can't imagine what this is like." Hermione said gently from his left. His breathing hitched.

"One m-month." He stuttered, "And we w-would've met her. We would've been so… happy." Harry breathed. They were silent for a long moment before Harry pulled back from Ron. He moved from Ron's lap onto the floor. Broken glass littered the floor in crystals. It was still light enough outside that they could see and Harry wrapped his arms around his knees.

"Maybe," He whispered, staring at the floor. "Maybe I'm not su-supposed to have stuff like that. Maybe it's a sign." His breath caught again and his jaw clenched before he shook his head harshly. "Maybe I'm not supposed to be happy."

There was a sharp intake of air from Ron. "Harry."

Hermione got to her feet and went through the doors at the end of the corridor. A privacy charm flickered, but held, as she passed.

Harry glanced to Ron but turned quickly away. It was unnerving how Ron was watching him.

The silence stretched on until the doors opened again and Hermione came over to him. She crouched down and took his hand, pulling him to his unsteady feet. He swiped at his eyes as she guided him through the doors, leaving Ron behind, sitting amongst the glass.

Hermione stopped him outside Ginny's room and Harry pressed his lips tight together.

"Go on." She urged and he shook his head. Ginny's door was ajar.

"She doesn't want me." He murmured, his voice hollow to his own ears.

Hermione pushed him in the small of the back and he shuffled reluctantly into the private room.

His chin unconsciously rose and he swallowed against the lump in his throat. He looked anywhere but at the bed.

"Harry." She whispered and he already felt his composure start to crumble. "Harry please."

He now recognised the tears that brimmed and fell. He finally looked to Ginny and his feet automatically took him to her.

He fell to his knees at the side of the bed and took her right hand in his two.

"I'm so sorry." She cried. "I just needed some time to try and get used to it. It's not working." He shook his head; it didn't seem to matter anymore. She was only partially sat up and his eyes seemed to be drawn to the flat sheets over her stomach.

"She's gone. No. No, no, no." Harry let go of her hand and grabbed fistfuls of hair. She started to sob, pulling his hand back into hers. "It's my fault." He choked, shame clogging his throat.

"No, I was stupid. I was careless Harry. I should have listened to you." She couldn't blame herself, he thought, feeling helpless for about the thousandth time that day, as he watched her eyes fill with renewed pain.

"I should have tidied! I should have been there! I would have made sure you never fell…" He argued. "Please don't blame yourself Gin. You can't." He squeezed her hand and ran his left hand gently over her cheek, swiping away the tears with his thumb.

"Then neither will you." She said fiercely. She locked eyes with him for what seemed like forever. He nodded.

"I'll try." Was all he could promise for now. Ginny sniffed.

"We'll try." She said.

.

.

* * *

.

Please review and let me know how I've done. Sensitive topic, I know. Thank you.

.


End file.
